Sometimes television dramas get it right.
What you see on TV isn’t always especially true-to-life, but in one area—the signs that a spouse is cheating—fiction copies reality fairly well. That’s not to say that all unfaithful husbands in North Carolina fall into the same patterns of behavior, or that they want to be caught. Unfaithful spouses do, however, tend to act in particular ways that can trigger the suspicions of someone who knows them well.
Watch for these signals
Spouses should not normally treat each other with suspicion. However, the familiarity and intimacy that comes with even a few months of marriage should alert you to changes in your spouse’s character or temperament. Not one of the following seven warning signs is, in itself, proof of an extramarital relationship, but when you observe one or more you may want to be on the lookout for other signals that your marriage is in danger:
- Increased secretiveness. Has your spouse been accusing you of poking into his or her private business? Especially when something that was once routinely shared becomes “private and personal,” your suspicions peak, naturally. This is noticeable when your spouse keeps changing e-mail and computer passwords and clearing browser history.
- Strange telephone conversations. Your spouse steps into another room to answer the phone, and speaks in whispers or hushed tones. You overhear conversation that is oddly stilted, or perhaps limited to curt “yes” and “no” answers.
- Increased absence from home. You spouse claims to be working late more often. He or she says that business concerns require many more nights traveling out of town than in the past. But something doesn’t seem quite right: phone calls go too often to voice mail or are never returned, or perhaps your spouse’s employer has called you, asking where your partner is.
- A change in your spouse’s attitude toward you. Perhaps your husband has been very attentive, giving you far more compliments than usual. Perhaps your wife has become impossible to please, picking fights at every opportunity. Either of these changes in temperament can signal a new romantic interest outside the home.
- A change in sexual desire. Either greatly increased sexual appetite or a withdrawal from interest in sex can indicate your spouse is romantically interested in someone else.
- Sudden and unexplained money problems. Although the household income hasn’t changed and expenses—as far as you know—aren’t any higher, your spouse is perpetually short on cash.
- Rumors and gossip. Insinuations heard “from a friend of a friend” aren’t necessarily reliable—but they shouldn’t be ignored completely, either.
Where do you go from here?
Extramarital affairs are frequently cited as one of the top reasons people file for divorce in North Carolina. Infidelity can be grounds for seeking a legal separation—what North Carolina calls divorce from bed and board—and that can lead to an absolute divorce a year later.
Or maybe not. Perhaps your suspicions are unfounded. Perhaps, even if true, your marriage can survive infidelity.
What you need is to sit down and discuss your options with someone who can offer sound and experienced advice—someone such as Speaks Law Firm’s family law and divorce attorneys in Wilmington. Members of our law team have the background and the compassion to react sympathetically to your situation. At the same time, because we’re not directly involved, we can give you dispassionate advice based on our extensive experience with unfaithful husbands and wayward wives.
Call us today at 910-341-7570 or toll-free at 877-593-4233. The Speaks Law Firm represents divorce cases throughout the Wilmington, North Carolina area, including New Hanover County, Pender County, Brunswick County, Columbus County, and Robeson County.