Ep 59: Finding Faith When Life Gets Difficult with Dana Roseman (Part 2)

Welcome to the catastrophic comeback podcast with American Injury Lawyer Clark speaks, helping you find hope, purpose and joy after a catastrophic injury.

Yeah, he said, you basically said, I'll give you two weeks. And you'll be back to it again, right. And I thought, you know, he's right. If I don't make serious changes, so that weekend, I went one after another and broke up with all my rowdy friends and told him the direction I was going to be going. And here again, to see God's actions in that period that very next week, a man that I knew who was a deep Christian was a Sunday school teacher, he came and invited me to his Sunday school class. And I thought, that's my next step. So that next Sunday, I went to church, I got there early, because I wanted to make sure I got to the right place. And there was this beautiful girl, I remember seeing her walking up the stairwell. It was one that turned and then I saw her coming up toward me. Most Beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my life. And I thought, I've got to get to know her, which turns out it was the first time she had ever been to that church. And so she got there early as well. And that was Jan. Oh, that was how we met. And then now y'all been married almost 50 years. Oh, yeah. Well, it'll be 49 years in September. Wow. So it was

really, that was an eventful couple of weeks.

That was amazing. Yeah, it was it was a really, completely life changing now. Don't think that, that it wasn't without struggles. I mean, I there have been, there was one period of time where I briefly got back into drugs, probably three years later. And of course, there have been other things that went along with that lifestyle that I struggled with probably for a really about 20 years, I'll find own that some of these old struggles would come back. So and that's sort of how it works, though. Yeah, life is not like you just suddenly change and you're forever changed.

Well, we've seen this. We've all seen this diagram or whatever that shows your plan and is sort of linear. Yeah. And then we show the reality. That's like all over the place. Yeah, at least. You mentioned that your friend died at 15. So that's, that's, that's some of what we deal with in the podcast. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Randy,

was one of the best people I knew. He was, it was, it was actually a snow day we'd been snowed out. It was in February, early February. 10 grade, we were 10th grade. So I was 15. And I'll be 70 this month. So do the math. It was 55 years ago about and he I just I got a call that from another friend who said that he had died. And I really don't remember much more about the next few days because like, say we were close friends used to spend the nights together. And, and I that would that really started a downward spiral for me, that went on from then until I was well, it was almost four years, I guess, well, almost five

years now. And you grew up in the city in the country around the country,

I'm a country boy, grew up on a farm. And he was on a different form working, it was on in a farm accident, he got caught in a feed auger. And of course, medical care was not nearly as quick then it took them a couple hours, I think to get him free. And then they took him to the hospital. And you know, nowadays, if you get carried to a hospital in an ambulance, they called ahead and you're going to be swept right in Well, in this case, his dad had taken him to the hospital, and was sitting in the waiting room and he died in the waiting room. So it was and that sort of added to the bitterness for me too. That I felt I felt like God had failed me. I felt like the medical system had failed. And so it was so

you you are you had a strong faith coming into that that was your foundation. Yeah, I did growing up in the church. Yeah. And and it's something like this. Yeah. See something like this where you see a good person and that always makes you go, wow, this guy? Yeah. You know, like, there's a million jerks out there, you know? And why why this guy? Yeah. And that leads us to the to the really the fundamental essence of this, this segment, which is to me okay, if, if God is so great, you know, and God knows everything, and God is powerful. Then why does he laugh out loud? Why does this happen to me? Yeah, he would. How II He would have been for him just to go. Okay, Randy, pay a little bit extra attention on this time. Okay, yeah. You know, let's not let's, let's give you a little fever a day, so you don't go out in the field? Or, or let's,

you know, or let it just not snow that day and you go to school

and little things. Yeah, you know. So how do we reconcile that? How do you reconcile that with your faith? How does a God who loves us has the power to prevent human tragedy and human suffering, allow that allow the Holocaust, allow warfare, allow children get killed and had terrible things to happen?

First of all, let me say that I've never gotten what I would call a full answer to that question I have learned to live with, with some of the uncertainty that comes around it, because I don't know that we're ever going to have full answers to all those questions. Philosophically, though, when I think about, you know, why would God let that happen? Or Why didn't God intervene, you know, at creation, and this sort of hit me one day, and I don't know how long it was many years ago, hit me, said, you know, let us create man or mankind in our own image. And then we're going to let him rue. In other words, he sort of placed us in charge. But he did it knowing, apparently, because God has foreknowledge, he has foresight, he knows. So why would he create a world that could be so filled with chaos, and hatred, and all the other negative things, but then I got to thinking about it more. That God did not create us as automatons. He created us as a living so. And if you're going to have love, real love, which is what I think he was after, then there has to be the possibility of hatred. You know, if hatred isn't a possibility, then then you really can't have love. And also, you know, what is the allow good? I mean, excuse me allow evil? Well, if there isn't evil, is it even possible for there to be genuine good?

Joy, pain? Exactly.

So that's sort of a big picture answer is that without, without chaos, you wouldn't even see order. Without hatred, you probably couldn't even recognize love. So God wanted creatures that he could have fellowship with that he could love. So if the possibility not to love him, does not exist, then I don't think you can have real love. Where does freewill fit into the when God created mankind created the world put us all here. In order to be able to have loving humans. There had to be freewill not to. So I just think, without freewill, there's really not even a possibility of love, you know, if you if he programs us where we're just going to be love creatures. And that's all we do, then is it really love? We're just automatons. We're a robot. But that's not what he wanted. Right?

I think he also we don't have the same experience that we would have now. Yeah. You know, like you, you do something good. And you get you feel good about it. Yeah. Something bad and you feel bad about? Yeah. And so you have I think we all have, you know, richer, fuller, incredible opportunities to have these wonderful, rich, fulfilling lives and impact others. Yeah, and the only way that that works now that you mentioned it is if we have a capacity to do harm. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. No.

So let me ask you this. Now, with respect to, you know, when you when you say that freewill plays a part in it, and you admit that you and I had talked last night in preparation for this. And one of the things that you said that I thought was fascinating is you talked about how God gave us dominion over the earth. And the idea would be that we would, you know, have that responsibility and have that capacity to, to do the things that we should do. And also, I guess, if you have that capacity to do things you shouldn't do. So. Can you talk to me a little bit about what what you were thinking there?

The capacity to love has to have, I think, for it to exist, has to have the the capacity to do the opposite. I think about gene And the reason her love is so special to me is because there have been a few times when I have given her a good reason to hate me. But she has made the decision to love me in spite of it. And so I think that sort of goes along. So she had the free will. At that time she she knew fully Well, I mean, there there have been a couple of times where if she had said, Dana, I'm done. We're getting a divorce, especially early in our marriage. I wouldn't have blamed her. And, and I think that's one of the reasons Her love is so special to me now. Sure, is because she could have and I'll be honest with you, that was a couple of times where if I would have been a counselor, and she had come to me and said, This is my situation. I've said, You gotta leave that but it's just best that's what you need to do, but she chose not to and stayed and so I think that sort of goes with with God too, you know. He's looking for a people who will freely love him, even though they have the options not to

thank you for joining us, and we'll see you next time.

Welcome to the catastrophic comeback podcast with American Injury Lawyer Clark speaks, helping you find hope, purpose and joy after a catastrophic injury.

Yeah, he said, you basically said, I'll give you two weeks. And you'll be back to it again, right. And I thought, you know, he's right. If I don't make serious changes, so that weekend, I went one after another and broke up with all my rowdy friends and told him the direction I was going to be going. And here again, to see God's actions in that period that very next week, a man that I knew who was a deep Christian was a Sunday school teacher, he came and invited me to his Sunday school class. And I thought, that's my next step. So that next Sunday, I went to church, I got there early, because I wanted to make sure I got to the right place. And there was this beautiful girl, I remember seeing her walking up the stairwell. It was one that turned and then I saw her coming up toward me. Most Beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my life. And I thought, I've got to get to know her, which turns out it was the first time she had ever been to that church. And so she got there early as well. And that was Jan. Oh, that was how we met. And then now y'all been married almost 50 years. Oh, yeah. Well, it'll be 49 years in September. Wow. So it was

really, that was an eventful couple of weeks.

That was amazing. Yeah, it was it was a really, completely life changing now. Don't think that, that it wasn't without struggles. I mean, I there have been, there was one period of time where I briefly got back into drugs, probably three years later. And of course, there have been other things that went along with that lifestyle that I struggled with probably for a really about 20 years, I'll find own that some of these old struggles would come back. So and that's sort of how it works, though. Yeah, life is not like you just suddenly change and you're forever changed.

Well, we've seen this. We've all seen this diagram or whatever that shows your plan and is sort of linear. Yeah. And then we show the reality. That's like all over the place. Yeah, at least. You mentioned that your friend died at 15. So that's, that's, that's some of what we deal with in the podcast. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Randy,

was one of the best people I knew. He was, it was, it was actually a snow day we'd been snowed out. It was in February, early February. 10 grade, we were 10th grade. So I was 15. And I'll be 70 this month. So do the math. It was 55 years ago about and he I just I got a call that from another friend who said that he had died. And I really don't remember much more about the next few days because like, say we were close friends used to spend the nights together. And, and I that would that really started a downward spiral for me, that went on from then until I was well, it was almost four years, I guess, well, almost five

years now. And you grew up in the city in the country around the country,

I'm a country boy, grew up on a farm. And he was on a different form working, it was on in a farm accident, he got caught in a feed auger. And of course, medical care was not nearly as quick then it took them a couple hours, I think to get him free. And then they took him to the hospital. And you know, nowadays, if you get carried to a hospital in an ambulance, they called ahead and you're going to be swept right in Well, in this case, his dad had taken him to the hospital, and was sitting in the waiting room and he died in the waiting room. So it was and that sort of added to the bitterness for me too. That I felt I felt like God had failed me. I felt like the medical system had failed. And so it was so

you you are you had a strong faith coming into that that was your foundation. Yeah, I did growing up in the church. Yeah. And and it's something like this. Yeah. See something like this where you see a good person and that always makes you go, wow, this guy? Yeah. You know, like, there's a million jerks out there, you know? And why why this guy? Yeah. And that leads us to the to the really the fundamental essence of this, this segment, which is to me okay, if, if God is so great, you know, and God knows everything, and God is powerful. Then why does he laugh out loud? Why does this happen to me? Yeah, he would. How II He would have been for him just to go. Okay, Randy, pay a little bit extra attention on this time. Okay, yeah. You know, let's not let's, let's give you a little fever a day, so you don't go out in the field? Or, or let's,

you know, or let it just not snow that day and you go to school

and little things. Yeah, you know. So how do we reconcile that? How do you reconcile that with your faith? How does a God who loves us has the power to prevent human tragedy and human suffering, allow that allow the Holocaust, allow warfare, allow children get killed and had terrible things to happen?

First of all, let me say that I've never gotten what I would call a full answer to that question I have learned to live with, with some of the uncertainty that comes around it, because I don't know that we're ever going to have full answers to all those questions. Philosophically, though, when I think about, you know, why would God let that happen? Or Why didn't God intervene, you know, at creation, and this sort of hit me one day, and I don't know how long it was many years ago, hit me, said, you know, let us create man or mankind in our own image. And then we're going to let him rue. In other words, he sort of placed us in charge. But he did it knowing, apparently, because God has foreknowledge, he has foresight, he knows. So why would he create a world that could be so filled with chaos, and hatred, and all the other negative things, but then I got to thinking about it more. That God did not create us as automatons. He created us as a living so. And if you're going to have love, real love, which is what I think he was after, then there has to be the possibility of hatred. You know, if hatred isn't a possibility, then then you really can't have love. And also, you know, what is the allow good? I mean, excuse me allow evil? Well, if there isn't evil, is it even possible for there to be genuine good?

Joy, pain? Exactly.

So that's sort of a big picture answer is that without, without chaos, you wouldn't even see order. Without hatred, you probably couldn't even recognize love. So God wanted creatures that he could have fellowship with that he could love. So if the possibility not to love him, does not exist, then I don't think you can have real love. Where does freewill fit into the when God created mankind created the world put us all here. In order to be able to have loving humans. There had to be freewill not to. So I just think, without freewill, there's really not even a possibility of love, you know, if you if he programs us where we're just going to be love creatures. And that's all we do, then is it really love? We're just automatons. We're a robot. But that's not what he wanted. Right?

I think he also we don't have the same experience that we would have now. Yeah. You know, like you, you do something good. And you get you feel good about it. Yeah. Something bad and you feel bad about? Yeah. And so you have I think we all have, you know, richer, fuller, incredible opportunities to have these wonderful, rich, fulfilling lives and impact others. Yeah, and the only way that that works now that you mentioned it is if we have a capacity to do harm. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. No.

So let me ask you this. Now, with respect to, you know, when you when you say that freewill plays a part in it, and you admit that you and I had talked last night in preparation for this. And one of the things that you said that I thought was fascinating is you talked about how God gave us dominion over the earth. And the idea would be that we would, you know, have that responsibility and have that capacity to, to do the things that we should do. And also, I guess, if you have that capacity to do things you shouldn't do. So. Can you talk to me a little bit about what what you were thinking there?

The capacity to love has to have, I think, for it to exist, has to have the the capacity to do the opposite. I think about gene And the reason her love is so special to me is because there have been a few times when I have given her a good reason to hate me. But she has made the decision to love me in spite of it. And so I think that sort of goes along. So she had the free will. At that time she she knew fully Well, I mean, there there have been a couple of times where if she had said, Dana, I'm done. We're getting a divorce, especially early in our marriage. I wouldn't have blamed her. And, and I think that's one of the reasons Her love is so special to me now. Sure, is because she could have and I'll be honest with you, that was a couple of times where if I would have been a counselor, and she had come to me and said, This is my situation. I've said, You gotta leave that but it's just best that's what you need to do, but she chose not to and stayed and so I think that sort of goes with with God too, you know. He's looking for a people who will freely love him, even though they have the options not to

thank you for joining us, and we'll see you next time.